the guy's rules

1. Men ARE n0t mind readers.
2. Sh0pping is NOT a sp0rt. And n0, we are never g0ing t0 think 0f it that way.
3. Crying is blackmail.
4. Ask f0r what y0u want. Let us be clear 0n this 0ne: Subtle hints d0 n0t w0rk! Str0ng hints d0 n0t w0rk! 0bvi0us hints d0 n0t w0rk! Just say it!
5. Yes and N0 are perfectly Acceptable answers t0 alm0st every question.
6. A headache that lasts f0r 17 m0nths is a pr0blem. See a d0ct0r.
7. Anything we said 6 m0nths ag0 is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all c0mments bec0me null and v0id after 7 Days.
8. If y0u think y0u're fat, y0u pr0bably are. D0n't ask us.
9. You can either ask us t0 d0 s0mething 0r tell us h0w y0u want it d0ne. N0t b0th. If you already kn0w best h0w t0 d0 it, just d0 it y0urself.
10. Christ0pher C0lumbus didn't need directi0ns and neither d0 we.
11. If we ask what is wr0ng and y0u say "n0thing," We will act like n0thing's wrong. We kn0w y0u are lying, but it is just n0t w0rth the hassle.
12. If y0u ask a questi0n y0u d0n't want an answer t0, Expect an answer y0u d0n't want t0 hear.
13. When we have t0 g0 s0mewhere, abs0lutely anything y0u wear Is fine...Really.
14. Y0u have en0ugh cl0thes.
15. Y0u have t0o many sh0es.

taken fr0m, http://www.lovefatedestiny.com/funnylovestories.htm